


A New Hope

by QueenSquared



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Angst, Ewoks, F/M, M/M, Stormpilot, and he needs closure, fluff toward the end I promise, poe is suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-22
Updated: 2016-04-22
Packaged: 2018-06-03 20:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6625891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenSquared/pseuds/QueenSquared
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After losing his best friend in a failed mission, Poe is broken with all hope seemingly lost. It takes a little coaxing from some ewoks and Finn to bring him back to the light.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Hope

**Author's Note:**

> This came to me in a dream so I started writing it right away. Let me know what you think. <3

As he sat in the infirmary and Kalonia held up a chart so he could express his pain, Poe debated holding up one finger for "numb" or ten for " the worst possible pain ever."

His mind was still back with the fight. The screams had overloaded the intercoms and there was fire, just  _so much fire,_ that even before he hit the ground, he begged for some unnatural deity to at least spare her body. 

Poe knew that there was no hope for her survival. But even as he watched her wing spiral down towards the earth, he prayed that Jess would turn out alright. 

At least her body managed to remain in one piece. 

Poe usually found the positive side to everything. But losing Pava was too much for him. So when Kalonia persisted with the chart, he shakily held up one finger. 

"Commander, this proves to be a lot worse than one on the scale" Kalonia insisted. 

He dropped his arm to feel the ricocheting heartbeat in his chest. It seemed to double from the moment the life left Pava's body, as if she somehow sacrificed her life to give some back to his. 

But now he felt more lifeless than ever. 

"In light of circumstances, I should think you would be more understanding" he replied with a mellow tone. The pain would hit soon enough. It always came in times of relaxation.

So Kalonia  sent him back to his wing for just a bit of that. 

"You've earned it" she said, comfortably. 

Only he didn't, because Jess was _dead_ and now the resistance was more shaken up than ever because of him and his inability to be everywhere at once. He'd always managed that in the past. But one mistake had cost him the love of his life. 

The best pilot in the Resistance was a fraud. 

He thought that coming out of the infirmary. He told himself that passing by his remaining teammates. He reminded himself with the dented panes in his precious x-wing. 

They hadn't deserved to die. It should have been him in their place. 

While in his despair, Finn rounded around the corner for him. He had barely looked up when Finn wrapped his shaken frame around him. 

Poe wanted to cry. He wanted to tell Finn about everything that happened. But like always, he leaned back and opened up his mind to whatever Finn had to say. And there was a lot. 

"They took her" he gasped, and it wrenched Poe's heart. "Did you see that? That monster  _took her."_

Poe knew that he was talking about Rey. The whole base knew. She'd become a legend among the Resistance , so much so that everyone wanted to meet her. Poe couldn't hide his inquiring curiosity. 

And he knew just how much she meant to Finn. 

"Don't worry, Buddy" he assured, as he put his hands on Finn's shoulders. "We'll get her back. She's going to be okay." 

But Poe had thought the same about Jess. No amount of faith would save Rey. 

*****

 

If there was any chance of a rebound, they had to get in the air  _now._ Poe knew that. But he just couldn't bring himself to do that. 

Their base was located in a secluded area just by the Endor forest. While the base bustled with activity, the woods countered with a calming environment, one that Poe knew Pava would have enjoyed. So that made for the most fitting place for her burial.

There wasn't a funeral. So many people died everyday that it wouldn't be possible to hold an official ceremony for everyone. But it was common knowledge that if you were ever able to recover a body, that person would be in charge of offering their graces to that person. All were welcome to any vigil. 

Poe sat in the grass, alone, in front of a chipped cinder block. 

The pilot was never good in times of prolonged silence. And the fact that he would never have another conversation with her crushed him.

He began on a shaky note, out of the ordinary for the usually suave man. 

"Jessika, I..." It hurt to say her name. "  _Everytime,_ I bring my all, it works out. But, I wasn't strong enough for you. And you had to die for me to see that." 

Poe waited. For an explosion, a force ghost,anything to keep him from going on. Poe choked back a sob before he continued. 

"All I can hope for is that by bringing down The First Order, it will give me some sort of reconciliation" he sniffed. " I'll do this for you, Pava." 

He always believed that he'd be the one to die first. As he returned to base, he wondered why that couldn't be so.

 

*****

 

Since they couldn't get into the air just yet, Poe couldn't do much of anything. Flying was his only way to escape reality, and since his x-wing was battered too much for safe expedition, he settled for the second best thing. 

Sleep. Of course, on the rough gravel he lied since he wouldn't be able to get comfortable back at his quarters anyway. 

Obviously, the galaxy wouldn't give Dameron the slightest of breaks, so he wasn't surprised when he woke up to a tugging at his hair and a jabbing at his rib cage. 

Frusterated, he sat up and swatted at the air. 

"Leave me alone" he growled, but stopped once he saw who was behind the spear. 

About a dozen Ewoks were inches from his face, prodding and chattering in a number of ways to get his attention. When he stirred, they all stared expectantly at him.

"Okay, what do you want? What is it?" He asked.

Poe's eyes fell upon two larger Ewoks lugging something closer to him. When he saw what it was, he sighed and shook his head. 

"Listen,guys, I'm really not in the mood."

The Ewoks didn't care. They layed the guitar in his lap anyway.

For a while, Poe just stared at it. The memories seemed to flood back to him all at once. He saw his mother, the first fan of his performances. He saw the venue he played at for the first time. He saw himself writing his first song.

All these memories had something in common. They brought the people around him together and lifted himself up as well. On that note, he took the guitar in his hand and started to play. 

_I'm not a human_

_I am a dove_

_I'm your conscious_

_I am love_

_All I really need is to know that you believe_

_Yeah, I would die for you_

_Darling, if you want me to,_

_I would die for you._

Lost in the music, Poe barely registered the gradual enclosure of Ewoks. They pressed up against his side and shoulders, taking in the sweet melody of his voice. Apparently it was appealing, as Poe began to notice the small crowd of pilots stopping to listen as well.

Amongst the group, he made eye contact with Temmin. He had thought of Jess like a sister, and because of their close relationship, the three had gotten along, merrily. Poe could tell that Temmin appreciated his sentiment, as he clapped along with the others when Poe finished the song. Poe smiled at him, then turned to the new attention close to his side. 

Finn had managed to squeeze himself through the mass of Ewoks, and threw his arm around Poe's shoulder so he could easily smooch him on the cheek. Poe turned his head so he could kiss him properly.

When they broke apart, Finn was the first to speak.

"She's proud of you, y'know" he said. "I know she's happy with all the things you've done." 

Poe grinned, finally coming to terms that it was true. But he knew he wouldn't fell fulfilled until he did one more thing. 

"Thanks, Buddy. I can't wait 'till the day Rey sees that in you."

With this new found closure, Poe took himself in stride. He'd win this fight for Finn. For Rey.

For the great Jessika Pava.

All he needed was a new hope. And by God, he had found it.

 


End file.
